2012 Golden Potato Awards
When the Expendables 2 underperformed at the box office it marked the end of the summer movie season. Now we will have to suffer through the month of September, which is the second worst movie month behind February for quality releases. No Avengers, no Batman, and no stoned teddy bears. Instead we get re-releases, Resident Evil part whatever, and a reboot of Dredd.
So with September looming it’s time to celebrate the summer movie season with CW44’s Couch Potato’s Golden Potatoes: Summer Movie Edition. The awards go like this. I pick the categories. I pick the winners. My page, my rules. If you don’t like my methods than take it up with my editor and guess what? The editor is me. I’ll get the negative award out of the way first so we can celebrate the films and performances that entertained and excited movie lovers these last few months. So without further ado let’s get on with the Golden Potatoes.
The First Hour and Ten Minutes of The Amazing Spiderman
This is the Golden Potato you don’t want to be given, but the first half of The Amazing Spiderman totally deserves this award. Why did the creators of the reboot decide to tell us a Spiderman origin story we had seen just ten years earlier. I defended the “too soon” mentality when it came to The Amazing Spiderman because I thought the film makers would give Spidey a fresh spin. Instead they gave us Peter Parker getting bit by a super spider, Uncle Ben dies, and some hoodie skateboarding. Why did they give us this origin story again? I think most people by now know Spiderman’s back story. Why not have him be Spiderman at the beginning of the film but told a new story. This has worked in the past with Tim Burton’s Batman. Bruce Wayne was Batman from the beginning of the 1989 film because there was no need for a back story that the audience already knew.
Runner Up: The Last Hour and Ten Minutes of The Amazing Spiderman
Do you mean to tell me that I sat through that Spiderman celluloid re-run waiting for The Lizard to show up and when he did he looked like the Koopa Troopers from the blasphemous 1993 film Super Mario Bros. You have to be kidding me, Sony! Check out my review of The Amazing Spiderman for the rest of the problems I had with the reboot.
Ted (Seth MacFarlane) and John (Mark Wahlberg) from Ted
If you read my review for Ted you already know my opinion towards the film. I thought Ted was the funniest movie of 2012 so far. The film was raunchy but heartfelt because of the bromance, between a man and his magical toking Teddy Bear. When Jon and Ted ramble on about names of marijuana or girls from Boston you forget that it’s really just Wahlberg sitting on the couch. It will be interesting to see if the Golden Globes award the film or Walhberg with nominations since the Hollywood foreign press breaks the categories up into comedy or musical. It will be hard to deny Walhberg’s performance or the fact a rated R comedy about a boy who wished his teddy bear to come to life made over $ 200 million at the box office. Plus the duo gave us the term “Thunder Buddies”.
Runner Up: Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders (Snow White and the Huntsman)
Their actions caused the Twi-Hard universe to collapse into a black hole which is always good in my book. Have fun with that press tour for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 in the fall Kristen Stewart.
Anne Hathaway – The Dark Knight Rises
Boy did Anne Hathaway make fan boys like me eat our Batman slippers with her performance as Selina Kyle. Everyone groaned when Anne Hathaway was cast by Nolan but from the second she shows up on-screen as the cat burglar she steals the movie. Hathaway took a different take on the classic Catwoman character and I still believe what I stated in my review for The Dark Knight Rises. Hathaway deserves a nomination for supporting actress come award season. Once again I will refer to the phrase “In Nolan we trust” and thank Mr. Nolan for casting Hathaway proving once again he’s the smartest director in Hollywood.
Runner Up: Mark Ruffalo/ The Hulk
Hulk smash box office.
Does it really surprise anyone that I picked The Avengers as the movie of the summer? I talked about the film months leading up to its release and the weeks following. The Avengers broke the single weekend opening record generating $207 million dollars and collected over $600 million dollars domestically. Besides the money, The Avengers was a critical success and proved you can combine multiple franchises without the story becoming convoluted. I for one can’t wait until 2015 when The Avengers assemble for the sequel.
Runner Up: The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises finally gave movie lovers a perfect trilogy that will remain the staple of how you make a super hero franchise on film for years to come.