Reporting CW44′s Couch Potato
Let me state right off the bat, I’m not a fan of the Twilight franchise. The franchise is a money-making pop culture juggernaut, but as far as films go, they’re terrible. That doesn’t mean my opinion of a franchise can’t be saved. The first two Mission Impossible movies were a bore, but JJ Abrams reinvented the franchise with the last two installments. So I decided to go into Breaking Dawn Part 2 with an open mind, hoping the franchise would go out on a high note just as Revenge of the Sith did for the much maligned Star Wars prequels. The lesson I learned after viewing Breaking Dawn Part 2, never give a bunch of vampires that shine bright like a diamond a second chance.
Breaking Dawn Part 2 begins with the newborn vampire Bella getting used to her new power and thirst with the help of her husband Edward. Her child Renesmee is growing at a rapid pace and is being protected by Werewolf Jacob, who has imprinted her. Can someone please explain this imprint thing to me?! Jacob is in his early twenties and basically is now destined to marry this vampire/human hybrid baby. Imprinting seems pretty creepy to me. The evil Volturi became aware of Renesmee and decide that the Cullens new family member cannot live in this world. So the Cullens gather the wolves and their vampire cousins to protect Bella and Edward’s offspring.
I would tell you more about the plot, but why waste your time. The movie is awful. I know some people may accuse me of hating on this franchise, but all of these films are poorly made and poorly acted. If you’re going to make a movie with wolves, why can’t you sink a couple of more dollars into the special effects to at least make the wolves realistic. The effects are sloppy and cheap and it does a disservice to the film which relies heavily on effects. It’s not like the studios are working on a tight budget. Plus, now all the vampires have turned into the X-Men with special powers that have nothing to do with being a vampire – so now there are more crummy effects thrown into the Twilight mix.
The Twilight franchise has made a billion dollars so there’s no excuse not to update the effects. Also, there were times in the film when a character would be pale and in the next scene they would be tan. I’m talking to you Kellan Lutz. Did Bill Condon just say “forget it” on some days and decide not to have his actors apply makeup. Sloppy film-making once again. Who can blame the makers of Breaking Dawn Part 2? They know fans will show up no matter how bad the film looks.
The acting in Breaking Dawn Part 2 doesn’t help the film’s cause either. Kristen Stewart still has that blank stare as if she’s smelling rotten eggs. Taylor Lautner conveys his emotions by raising his eyebrows or taking off his shirt. The always superb Micheal Sheen is cartoonishly dumb as Aro, head of the Volturi. Even Robert Pattinson, who I actually like seems to be mailing it in at this point with his squinting eyes performance. The acting has always been a problem in the Twilight series and it’s on full display in the finale.
The one thing the Twilight franchise has proved is that it’s consistent. Each film has been worse than the last. This is without a doubt the worst movie I have seen all year and I have seen some stinkers. The showdown with the Volturi and the Cullen clan could have saved some of the wretchedness of the film, but a stupid twist takes all the impact out of the third act. The one thing I can be happy about is hopefully, this is it for the family of moody vampires. I give Breaking Dawn Part 2 1 rotten potato.