Reporting CW44′s Couch Potato
I didn’t see a ground swell of movie fans craving for a sequel to Percy Jackson & The Olympians : The Lightning Thief. Can you blame them? The first Percy Jackson film was nothing more than a cheap Harry Potter knock off that substituted greek gods for the wizards of Hogwarts. The special effects were bad, the movie was long and Logan Lerman lacked the heroic charisma you need in a leading man. The first film only made $88 million dollars here in the states, which was well below its $95 million dollar budget. Yet with the overseas money and fans of the books wanting more, the son of Poseidon is back with Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters.
So is there any chance this time around to prove that Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters isn’t more than a cheap Hogwart’s impersonator? The simple answer. No! In Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, Percy’s camp of half bloods are being threaten by their own kind. The force field that protects the camp has been compromised, so Percy and his two friends (sound familiar) must go on a quest to find the ancient Golden Fleece that will fix the magic barrier around the camp. Only problem is the Golden Fleece is sitting in the middle of the Sea of Monsters. This time around Percy’s half-brother joins the gang because lets face it, who doesn’t enjoy a cyclops brother for some wacky jokes, turmoil and heart-felt brotherly moments. Can you feel my mythical sarcasm in that last sentence.
I wish I could say there was something I enjoyed about Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, but there’s not. The special effects are poor once again, which is a shame because a couple of the monsters could have been cool, including a mechanical bull that looked like Tantrum from the Predacons. In this day and age with digital screens and 3-D, you can’t make a big film with sub-par special effects without people taking notice. From the goofy cyclops to the massive sea monster in the Bermuda Triangle, which is a complete Sarlacc pit ripoff, the effects are weak. It seems the only thing the Percy Jackson franchise does well is steal from other films’ imaginations.
The acting in Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters doesn’t help the film’s quest for quality either. Logan Lerman is bland and has a hard time conveying any type of emotion. This is a glaring problem with the scenes where Percy is talking to bodies of water that are supposed to be his father, Poseidon. Douglas Smith has the same “Awe shucks” expression he showed on 5 seasons of Big Love and Brandon T. Jackson shows why CBS had no faith in him for the Beverly Hills Cop series. Even the great Stanley Tucci who shined in another cinematic turd Jack the Giant Slayer early this year has the “Why did I sign up for this” look on his face during his scenes. To sum up Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, it’s the Shasta Cola of the family fantasy film genre. A cheap knock off that has you longing for a proven name brand. Please, no more refills. Overall, I give Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters 1 out of 4 potatoes.
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