Reporting CW44′s Couch Potato
You have to give it up to Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo. The duo managed to take a fake trailer that was in the front of Grindhouse and turn it into a feature-length film in the same exploitation vein as its predecessor. Machete didn’t tear up the box office, but it still made a profit and garnered a quick cult following. So it would only make sense for the Mexican warrior to bust out his big knife to save the world again in Machete Kills.
If you are heading into Machete Kills looking for something deep like The Shawshank Redemption, you’ve bought a ticket to the wrong movie. If you’re looking for a film with tons of senseless violence and over the top sexuality, then Machete Kills will fulfill your deviant needs. The silent, but deadly Trejo decapitated numerous bad guys and even manages to use someone’s own intestines against them in a very entertaining fashion. In between the battles, we get women wearing next to nothing including Alexa Vega strutting around in a thong for most of Machete Kills. Those scenes had to be a little creepy for Rodriguez who directed Vega as child in Spy Kids.
The cast is loaded with appearances by Sofía Vergara, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Charlie Sheen as the President. Without a doubt the two scene stealers of Machete Kills were Demian Bichir and Mel Gibson. Bichir’s agent Mendez eats up the scenes he’s in playing the schizophrenic drug lord/secret agent and Gibson is very entertaining playing an evil Richard Branson type named Voz. You would think Gibson would be out-of-place in a film like Machete Kills, but he fit nicely into the Grindhouse universe. Both actors brought their A game to Machete Kills that’s clearly trying to fail on purpose.
The cast, with their brazier guns, space ships and bombs attached to human hearts have a great time. Unfortunately Machete Kills runs out of gas by the second hour. The first hour is a guilty pleasure with its fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space, over the top violence and goofy dialogue that follows. Problem is Robert Rodriguez and company may have squeezed all the creative juice they could out of a story based originally on a fake trailer. The last hour of Machete Kills drags even with the appearance of Mel Gibson’s entertaining space psycho. By the end of the Machete Kills, even this sick puppy was tired of the heads rolling. I know Machete Kills is supposed to be “So Bad, It’s Good”, but it’s mostly bad by the end. Overall, I give Machete Kills 2 out of 4 potatoes.
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