It’s no secret. I’m a huge superhero nerd. Growing up reading comics I wished could see my heroes jump from their comic panels to the big screen. Lucky for myself and Hollywood studio heads, computer graphics made significant leaps in film special effects allowing our favorite super powered characters to come to life. There have been some great superhero movies, which I discussed in ‘The 4: Superhero Movies‘, but there has also been some duds. Some big fat bombs that ruined the characters we loved. Let’s check out ‘The 4: Worst Superhero Movies’.
Why not start this list out with bang or a bomb I should say. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was so bad it caused the world’s greatest hero to lay dormant on the big screen for almost twenty years. The film is nothing more than cheap Anti-Nukes propaganda. Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman cashing a check) and his nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer) create a new super villain named Nuclear Man to take out the man of steel after he decides to rid the world of all nuclear weapons. You can’t make this garbage up. The film is 90 minutes of crap and whoever gave the approval for the moon fight scene hopefully never worked in Hollywood again. The Superman franchise had began to fall to pieces after Richard Donner departure, but Superman IV: The Quest for Peace damaged Superman’s image more than a shard of Kryptonite ever could.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Nothing makes me more happy than adding Spider-Man 3 to another negative ‘The 4’. After appearing on ‘The 4: Worst Movie Sequels’, Spider-Man 3 takes it’s place on this list. There are many things wrong with Spider-Man 3, but the main reason is they screwed up Venom. Raimi wanted no part of bringing Eddie Brock to the big screen to be a thorn in Peter Parker’s side, but fanboys and studio executives forced Raimi’s hand. The result, a half-hearted attempt to bring Venom into the franchise. Sure Tobey Maguire’s dance moves were an abomination and the Sandman was pointless, but the real problem was the treatment of such an iconic Spider-Man villain. Children on the 1980s like myself were left in disgust. Spider-Man 3 gets worse with age and makes me cringe every time I see that dance sequence. What were you thinking Sam Raimi?
Hulk no art house film. Hulk Smash! Those are simple instructions that director Ang Lee chose to ignore. Instead he tried to turn Hulk into a living comic book with his fancy editing and an indie cinema feel. The result. The worst Marvel movie ever made. Worse than any of the Punisher movies or the goofy Ghost Rider films. Hulk is one boring piece of cinema that should have never been in a director like Ang Lee’s hands. I enjoy Lee, but he totally ruined the big angry green man creating the Worst Marvel movie ever. He chose not to include any of the Hulk’s classic villains, instead adding Nick Nolte and some mutated dogs. The Avengers finally got the Hulk right, but it’s still hard to wash away the green stain left by Ang Lee’s Hulk.
Batman & Robin (1997)
You notice I said “worst Marvel movie ever” when describing Hulk. That’s because the worst movie superhero movie of all time goes to Joel Schumacher’s Batman & Robin. What a bad, bad movie. Schwarzenegger ruins one of my favorite villains in Batman lore. Mr. Freeze is full of silly one liners and a blue glow. Bane is reduced to being Poison Ivy’s (Uma Thurman) plant henchmen. Alicia Silverstone was reportedly to fat to fit into her Batgirl suit. Plus the story was non-existent and Clooney looked bored as Batman. Schumacher added the neon lights look to the franchise that fizzled out near the end of Batman Forever. Batman & Robin is a pitiful excuse for a superhero movie and should be the basis of what not to do when telling a superhero movie.
So what 4 superhero movies do you think are the worst? I can already hear cries for DareDevil. I hate to break it to you people. That movie is not as horrible as you Affleck haters like to think it is. Follow me on Twitter @CW44CouchPotato and become a fan at facebook.com/CW44CouchPotato and let me know your picks.