Fifty Shades of Grey was a box office success, but was a critical disappointment that even fans of the book deemed an unworthy adaptation. Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson showed zero chemistry as the sexual odd couple Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and the movie was quite boring at times. When it came to the next film to be adapted Fifty Shades Darker, you would think there would be nowhere to go but up in terms of quality standards. Well think again, because this sequel is even worse playing like the Playboy Channel decided to do remake of the most ridiculous Lifetime Movie ever.
This silly sequel sees Christian Grey trying to win back Anastasia’s dull heart by trying to convince her that he has changed his dominating ways. It’s baffling to once again see the complete lack of chemistry between Dornan and Johnson considering they worked together before playing the exact same characters. Fifty Shades Darker is one never-ending cycle of rich white people complaining about their problems followed by a kinky sexy scene with zero heat. This is repeated over and over again in the film’s painful 118 minute running time. There is no reason this movie needed to be that long or better yet made at all.
There are a couple of characters added into the mix in attempt to peel back the layers of our controlling Prince Charming including Kim Basinger’s as Grey’s trainer in torture Elena and his ex loony submissive Leila (Bella Heathcote). The only thing these former flames do is remind us of how creepy Christian Grey really is. If the arrogant billionaire was unattractive or lived in a trailer park, society would deem this guy an abusive pervert. Instead women think of Grey as their knight in shining armor instead of the bully freak show he actually is in Fifty Shades Darker. At one point Christian even says “I want to hurt women who look like my mother”. Let that sink in for all the ladies who fantasize about this attractive deviant.
The awful romance put on display in Fifty Shades Darker will have your eyes exhausted from all the rolling they will be doing during the film. The two leads manage to be even worse the second time around and the movie is one big dull dud because of it. Worst of all there is one more film to come in this unsexy trilogy. Hopefully we can all borrow one of Christian Grey’s blindfolds for the next film to avoid watching this mopey couple on-screen again.
Overall, I give Fifty Shades Darker 0.75 out of 4 stars.
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