So, this morning (11/18) I ran across a New York Times interview with Willow and Jaden Smith. After reading it, I wasn’t sure what I read. This interview was by far the strangest thing I’ve ever read and I’ve interviewed a meta-physicist once! However, after some deep analysis of this interview I have come to 10 conclusions about Willow and Jaden. Check them out below! These young starlets are not your typical teenagers!
1) Normal 14 and 16-year-old kids, like Willow and Jaden, read things like Quantum Physics, ancient texts that can’t be predated and somebody named Osho.
Yes, Willow said it. Harry Potter, Hunger Games and Twilight fans are completely wasting their brain potential away. I might say that I agree with this one.
2) Novels are generally horrible.
Forget the great novels such as F.Scott Fitzgerald’s “Great Gatsby” or Harper Lee’s “How to Kill a Mocking Bird.” You should definitely write your own novel. The countless hours that I spent reading novels to gain literary foresight about the art of writing while in college to achieve my English minor was a complete waste of time.
3) Everyone is a theoretical physicist.
I have a simple response to this. I’m 100% positive that I never took physics in school. Willow, are you sure?
4) Time does not exist.
I have the feeling that these kids may have seen Interstellar over the past few weeks and have indulged themselves into Einstein’s theory of relativity. Despite how they feel, I’m pretty sure that The Flash is airing tonight at 8pm as it does every Tuesday… or am I in a different dimension? Someone, please tell me!
5) You’re definitely not cool if you don’t know what P.C.H means.
Pause. I know that I have adequate comprehension skills and I’m a big fan of context clues, but in this interview P.C.H was never explained. This is not a common acronym. According to Jaden, it relates to the “melancholiness of the ocean.” When did oceans become so sad?
6) Willow and Jaden’s voices sound like “chocolate” together.
I thought sounds were noises, not a sweet treat derived from the beloved cocoa bean. Do Jada and Will Smith know their kids are living with some form of synthesia?
7)”When you think about an apple, you think about the opposite of an apple.”
My elementary education has failed me once again. Fruits have opposites? It must be vegetables. What’s the opposite of an apple? Yes, a tomato!
8) The soft spots present on an infant’s head exist because “energy is coming through their body, up and down.”
Correction: Soft spots exist because an infant skull has not fully formed. School might be a viable option after all for these young celebrities.
9) According to Jaden and Willow, we live in the Matrix.
Reportedly, we live in a “fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.” So, who holds the plug to our consciousness? It must be Willow and Jaden since they’re conscious. I’m afraid the fragile world we have grown to love lies in these teenager’s hands. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
10) Current music isn’t cool, but Willow’s and Jaden’s music is.
They’re right, One Direction fans! I love listening to that one Jaden Smith song on my holographic radio and that one Willow song that made me want to whip my hair psychotically back and forth. These kids are definitely musical geniuses.
Tell us what you think about Willow and Jaden in the poll below!
Kristan McCants | CW44 Tampa Bay